This is going to hurt
by Caness
Summary: A little songfic for Sylar and Mohinder. Goodbye by Army of Anyone.


_Yeah, I got this thinkin' in my head_

He's holding this gun and he's never even seen one up close before. Sylar probably already knows he has it anyway so what's the point. The point is he _knows _andSylar doesn't know he knows. He thinks. Oh fuck, what does it matter. He should use this thing to blow his own brains out.

"Mohinder!" That innocent tenor makes him nauseous, and suddenly he sees his lunch on the carpet. He winces. Zane barges in, case-folder in hand with a look of concern on his face. "Are you.. Is that...?"

"Yes, Zane, it is a revolver." _beat _"And I plan to kill you with it." Mohinder wipes his mouth on his sleeve and aims the gun at Sylar's heart. If, in fact, he has one.

Sylar's face contorts into a hideous mockery of a smile.

"You killed them all," Mohinder whispers, his trigger finger shaking just a little. The hotel room door is still wide open. Sylar could make a run for it, but he looks like he's enjoying himself too damn much. Mohinder is sick all over again.

"And you led me right to them, good doctor." Sylar's grin widens to inhuman proportions. He takes a little bow, coincidentally at the very moment Mohinder's finger faulters, and a bullet flies over Sylar's head through the open door. Mohinder curses in Tamil.

As Sylar's head comes up, the gun flies out of Mohinder's fingers. Well, this is the end, he thinks. And Sylar is walking towards him, and he can feel his heart pounding. He wonders fleetingly what it sounds like to Sylar.

_Yeah, you wanna say the things not said_

Heaven, that's what it sounds like. A choir of angels. The thundering in Sylar's head makes him ever-reluctant to kill the quivering man before him. It is too beautiful a sound. He had killed since Dale, but this was different somehow. It perplexed him.

He approaches the scientist on silent feet, if for no other reason but that he can. He throws Mohinder across the room with but a sway of his hand. Mohinder collides with the wall, his bones crinkling like paper. He almost loses consciousness so Sylar is there to slap him a few times.

Enough times.

He squats so that he's eye-level with the Indian and smiles that sweet Zane smile. Before Mohinder can be sick on his shoe he takes him by the chin, and looks him in the face.

_Whats the reason?_

And kisses him.

_Don't really care if you leave_

Mohinder starts, trying to pull away. Sylar wants to draw this out a little bit though. He places his hand behind Mohinder's ear to rest lightly in those ebony curls.

_Just wanna see you beaten_

Mohinder's eyes are full of hurt and confusion. Sylar deepens the kiss, bringing their heads closer and relishing the slight tang of metalicism he finds there. He pulls back, lapping some blood almost-tenderly from Mohinder's nose. He laughs warmly and places one more chaste kiss on those full, dark lips.

_Don't really care if you grieve_

Sylar looks back as he's walking out that open door. He looks mournful. Or nearly so.

_Don't really need a reason_

Mohinder stumbles to his feet, making a grab for the gun. It flies across the room and hits the door frame with enough force to shatter it. Mohinder sighs, tears streaming down his face.

_Hey, goodbye_

"Goodbye, Zane!" the doctor screams at Sylar's retreating form. "It was a pleasure to work with you." He swears he sees Sylar turn around and salute him, before disappearing forever. Or until the next body turns up, anyway.

_I wish you stayed here_

Mohinder limps and drags himself over to the door, slamming it before sliding down to rest on the floor. He sighs, resting his head in his arms balanced on his knees. He feels like a small child. He brings his tongue over the bloody interior of his mouth and then across his lips. He could still feel the other man in the room, even if he was long-gone.

_I wish you were here_

He can't begin to explain this pang that's begun in his chest. He's helped a mass murdering sonuvabitch to kill. That makes him an accomplice. But that's not what Mohinder is thinking about right now. All he can think about is that kiss.

_Yeah, I got this feelin' in my veins_

He remembers all the times he and Zane shared, and the tears are coming faster now. It was all a lie, and he so naively trusted this man with his shy facade.

_Yeah, a helpless feeling mixed with pain_

His wounds are the least of his hurts, and he starts mapping out a plan to warn the Petrellis and anyone else on the list that will listen. But, he thinks mournfully, Zane helped convince them to trust us, to trust me. _Without Sylar, I cannot save them from Sylar._

_What's the meaning?_

Sylar is driving Mohinder's car. It smells like him and Zane, and it shouldn't be evoking this kind of feelings from him. Who cares about the Sureshes and their stupid list. He can fly solo.

_I just can't believe_

_that you're not really with me_

Was it that he missed Mohinder? Absolutely not. Was it that he needed Mohinder? Maybe, he had to concede. His Zane persona was wearing thin, but at the same time it allowed him to function. Away from Mohinder felt away from safety. Like the frail scientist could protect all-powerful Sylar from anything. It was devastatingly illogical.

_I just can't believe_

_I wonder if you'll miss me_

Mohinder has to be feeling the same way he is. He feels awful. Not for stringing the man along, or for killing those people, not even for throwing Mohinder against the wall. No, he was sorry he hadn't said goodbye.

_Hey, goodbye_

He turned around the car, thinking the whole while about those accented tones sputtering around the pain: _'Goodbye, Zane.' _

_I wish you stayed here_

Just as Dr. Suresh is gathering his personal items from the hotel room, a tentative knock comes at the door. Mohinder freezes. Only one person knows where he is. He's shaking uncontrollably. Sylar has come back to kill him. He doesn't have a chance to warn all those people. The tears make an attempt at a reappearance, but it's not Sylar, but Zane who busts through that door. He looks concerned and remorseful and just so _delicate. _

Mohinder starts forward to embrace Zane, but then he's being pushed back. He frowns. Did he just try to hug a serial killer? Now he _knows _he's lost it. He sighs and looks down at his shoes.

_I wish you were here_

But now he's being kissed again, only this time it isn't gentle or searching. He's being pulled harshly against Sylar's larger frame and this kiss tastes of desperation and a hint of hope. Mohinder kisses Sylar back, just to make sure the hope is still alive.


End file.
